Life to the Full!

Posts made in August, 2014

How To Get Rid of Negative Thoughts and Emotions

By on Aug 28, 2014 in Blog |

Ever deal with fear, anxiety, shame… anger, perfectionism, depression – or other negative thoughts and emotions?  If you have, you know how debilitating they can be.  And, you probably already know how negative thoughts and emotions can undermine your best efforts to build your career, your business, or develop deep and meaningful relationships. Michael Hyatt recently posted “Four Emotions Derailing Your Goals” which got me thinking about how tough it can be to deal with negative thoughts and emotions, something I work with daily in my practice.  Counseling clients often struggle just to get back to “normal” functioning.  But even coaching and consulting clients may wrestle to break free of long-standing negativity. So, what would it be worth to learn how to (first) cope with and (then) get rid of these energy-drainers?  How much would you be willing to invest if the result was a more deeply satisfying life? How about a little time and effort? Okay, sometimes a little more than a little time and effort.  But hey, if you could get off the life-sucking merry-go-round of dealing with anger, shame, or perfectionism (just to pick a few from the top of the pile), wouldn’t it be worth whatever time and effort it took? Here’s a little true confession: I had an “anger issue” back in the day.  In fact sometimes, even now… but that’s another story.  Anyway, I used to be what I’ve come to think of as “pissy, moody, and irritable.”  It was slowly killing the intimacy in my marriage, it made it hard for my kids to be close to me, and truthfully – it was really hard on me, too.  I didn’t like it, but I didn’t know how to fix it.  I was stuck. Fast forward to now.  While I’m not “there yet,” boy what a difference using some simple tools has made.  And, as I come across new tools and strategies, I layer them together to keep getting rid of unhealthy, unproductive thoughts and feelings.  It’s a work in progress, but like the Beatles once said, “it’s get-ting better all the time.” Anyway, whether you’re going from barely functioning to getting back to normal – or moving from normal functioning toward having...

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Is Yours a ‘Life Worth Living?’

By on Aug 21, 2014 in Blog |

A couple thousand years ago Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  A few years later, in Waking the Dead, John Eldredge said something like, “too many of us go through life feeling like we’re driving into the sun, peering through a mud-streaked windshield.  What we wouldn’t give for a little clarity!” Ahhh… A life worth living, lived with clarity.  Nice, right? Now, you may be thinking, “Sure, taking stock of how I’m living my life would be great.  If I even knew how to do that.  I mean, where do we learn to live with purpose, passion, and meaning?  And clarity?  Yeah, right. As I talk with clients about this very thing, the problem seems clear: when are we shown how to live with intention?  To discover a life worth living?  How do we gain clarity while moving at the speed of life? Is this taught at school?  Not so much.  Even if the root of the word educate means to draw out, most schools are too busy pounding boilerplate information into our heads (and testing us to make sure we’ve got it right) to worry about who we are and what our gifts might be. How about the church?  Sadly, not as a rule.   Too many are focused on a list of do’s and don’ts to devote much energy to who we were actually created to be and how to live out of that new identity. And as for clarity?  Where do we go to find that?  How do we begin to identify our passions and unique gifts?   And, even more importantly, how do we learn to live intentionally from those gifts? If you’ve ever struggled to gain clarity in your life, or live from a sense of purpose and meaning, you’re not alone.  Some estimates suggest one-third of Americans are unhappy with their lives.  That’s about 100 million people… in the U.S. alone!  Other stats claim that at least 25% of people hate their jobs.  What a waste! But what if you could have a ‘life worth living?’  What if it wasn’t as far out of reach as it may seem at times?  What would your life look like – and what might you be...

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Three Signs You May Be Ready for a Coach

By on Aug 12, 2014 in Blog |

I got a voice mail the other day that went something like this: “Hey, remember me…?  Well, I think it’s time I figure out what I want to be when I grow up.”  Can you relate?  I sure can. In 2007 I was six years into a career in counseling.  I loved parts of it, like helping people get back to feeling like themselves again; seeing people get their lives back to fully functioning and their families and relationships restored. Yet I knew there was more.  What I kept seeing in my practice were folks who were getting back to being functional and yet still wanted direction for taking their lives, families, and careers to a whole new level.  But they were out of counseling territory. What they needed was a coach. Then, at an American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference, I decided to check out the Coaching Track.  It sounded fascinating and after attending the first session I knew I’d found the answer – for my clients and for myself. There is a wide variety of coaching available these days, though in the early years coaching was mostly used by top-level executives who wanted to take their careers and areas of responsibility to the next level. From that original DNA the field of coaching has exploded into almost every area of business and life.  There are ADD coaches and coaches for starting a business or writing a book; coaches for most every kind of career, hobby, and passion; coaches are engaged in education and ministry; and of course there is life coaching, which takes a more comprehensive approach to a client’s life. If you’ve heard of coaching but you’re not sure it’s the right time, or if coaching is right for you, see if you relate to any of the following: You know your life is out of ‘balance’ or you’re feeling a little lost or stuck. You know there’s supposed to be “more” to life, but you can’t seem to find the handle on what that is or how that looks. You have a sense of what “life to the full” is supposed to look like, but you don’t know how to get there.  There are...

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Two Sure-Fire Ways to Self-Sabotage Almost Anything!

By on Aug 6, 2014 in Blog |

There are a lot of ways we can self-sabotage our best intentions.  You know what I mean, right?  Those little things we do to make sure we don’t get where we want to go in life.  Maybe it has to do with work, or a goal related to exercise.  Finances are another place we shoot ourselves in the foot.  How about those plans for starting a business or a new career?  Or perhaps something you want to change in your family or an important relationship?  There are lots of ways to self-sabotage.  You probably have some personal favorites. But let’s face it.  Some methods of self-sabotage just aren’t as effective as others.  And, how frustrating is that, right!?!  I mean, if we aren’t careful we could inadvertently reach our dreams… achieve our goals… live the life for which we were designed and become the people we were created to be! Well, if you’ve ever wondered how to make sure you don’t suffer that fate, there’s good news.  Almost anything you want to accomplish in life can be run right off the tracks with these two simple methods.   And the best part?   They’re not something new we have to learn!  In fact, most of us are already using these methods in some way or another right now!  Have you guessed what they are? Failure to plan, and; Failure to schedule. I know, I know, you’re probably saying to yourself “wait, it can’t be that easy!”  You may even be thinking, “I do that all the time!”  If so you’re definitely not alone.  In fact, most people I work with use one or both of these methods to help keep themselves stuck in one or more key life areas. Speaking from personal experience I’ve put these time-proven methods to the test over and over again in my own life (just to make sure they work consistently, I guess) and I’ve found without fail every time I do, they really do work!  In fact, they don’t just work, they work like gangbusters! Now, if you’re wondering how these two simple tools can be so effective for self-sabotage, that’s easy. First, the lack of planning takes care of the big picture.  Without a plan...

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