Life to the Full!

Sometimes You’re the Bug… And Three Crucial Things to Do When You Are

By on Jan 30, 2015 in Blog |

Ever hear the old saying, “Sometimes you’re the bug, and sometimes you’re the windshield”?

Every now and then most everyone gets their lunch handed to them. Sometimes it’s in the gym; sometimes on the basketball or tennis court. Sometimes it’s on the sales floor; and sometimes on the playground or in a courtroom.

Sometimes it’s someone else doing the “handing,” and sometimes it’s life itself. Sometimes you can do something to soften the blow or get out of the way, and sometimes…

You just can’t.

Lately, I’ve been the bug. Two pretty big hits in the past month and it’s got me thinking about what I need to do to take care of myself. Often (probably too often) I don’t really give it much thought.

But right now, I do have to pay attention and give it more than just a little thought.

So, I wanted to share a few things you’ll want to do if you find yourself up – what’s that creek called? – without a paddle.

Rest. If you’ve been taking a beating physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, you need rest. The kind of rest you need may depend on the pounding you’ve been getting but, regardless, you need to recharge your batteries. Sometimes rest is sleep. Sometimes it’s reading a good book (not for work, please). Sometimes it may mean reconnecting with a friend or two, and sometimes rest means getting away from everyone.

Reflect. If you don’t take the time to reflect and digest what’s happened (or what’s happening still) you may wind up stuck, going over and over things. Instead of reflecting intentionally, you wind up ruminating in disjointed, unquiet ways. Like mental or emotional zombies, things that should have been laid to rest by careful, kind, and purposeful reflection may continue to lumber around your head or your heart, leaving you with a ragged feeling of unfinished business. Yuck.

Reimagine. As you give yourself the rest you need, and the time to reflect, process, and put to rest the things you’ve been dealing with, don’t forget to reimagine. You need to recharge after (or during) any sort of significant whooping so that in whatever the new reality is – life after the loss of a loved one (or two); losing that job you loved; having to move from a beloved, familiar place; a broken friendship or family tie – you’ll have the energy and ability to reimagine what life will look like.

And then, go live it.

By the way, don’t ask “Now what?” It may be too soon to know what to do or how.  Instead, ask “What’s this now make possible?” Focus on alternative scenarios or new, possible outcomes.  You can worry about how to get there as you begin to figure out where the new “there” is.

Finally, whatever you do, don’t ask a bunch of “why” questions. There likely aren’t any good answers anyway, and “why” questions are loaded with guilt and the suggestion you did something wrong. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t, but the only question going forward that will get you anywhere is “what did I learn from this, and what will I do differently as a result?”

Sometimes – especially if you’re the bug – that’s about as good as it gets.

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